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Faded Star of the Twilight Moon
Alternate Incarnate
randalee_eno
How can I help but feel such contempt for my sex?

Here I must endure listening to colleagues making comments about some pornography they're watching.
I'm glad I have her, now. Otherwise I'd risk being aroused by such stupidity, which would surely be nothing but shameful.

Unpleasant memories have a way of resurfacing.
Unpleasant anythings are always doing that.

Tags: ,
Mind: Tired
Spirit: All Dead

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randalee_eno
Shut up.
You don't know anything.
Praise from you is obviously worthless, because you're so fickle as to be considered mentally incapable of comprehending the reason that right and wrong are different.

Tags:
Mind: Annoyed
Spirit: Doom Castle

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randalee_eno
Whether or not such people are correct isn't really a big deal. Seeing as how I'm not yet an author and have much to learn, I won't glare at my mistakes as if they were the epitome of my character and unattained career. I don't expect others to follow my example, though, because that's the way most people are.

Tags:
Mind: Tired
Spirit: The Midst of War

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randalee_eno
Such... CHILDREN.
Everything... is such a BIG DEAL.
LIFE ONLY LASTS SO DAMN LONG.
WE BETTER FALL IN LOVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
CHILDREN. MAKE THINGS SO DRAMATIC.
GET OVER IT.
OUR LIVES HAVE JUST STARTED.
IT IS REALLY NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.
CHILDREN.

Tags: ,
Mind: Angry
Spirit: The Essence

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randalee_eno
Now... Mother has been hinted to the existence of the first Monica. She's obviously totally clueless about what she's stumbled upon, but it was what she said which angered me.
She mentioned Monica as if she was just another friend. Even though I hadn't heard from her in four or so years.

It is now very unlikely that she will be forgiven. To touch upon the tenderest of nerves is to cause more pain than any other.

Tags: ,
Mind: Angry
Spirit: Forbidden One

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randalee_eno
Wrongess coming, Wrongness bleeding.
Wrongness seething.


Anger does not do this kindly.
It is never appropriate, though. Never appropriate.
The anger justified itself this time.
Sometimes, it doesn't matter. Anyone can know.
But when SHE knows, SHE who LIVES WITH ME, it becomes something more than intolerable. No, intolerable does not begin to describe it. I lack the vocabulary for this deep and dark pain.

I was right. He was stupid for trusting any of you.
He will continue, though, even if to a lesser degree.
Because trust is so important to him, even if he won't admit it. I have to get him out of these stupid situations. Stupid, meaningless situations that he gets into. You fools help him get into them, though. Everyone, just human. Idiots, all of you.
Not even a cataclysmic measure will show him the light, though. No lies and deceit nor anger and hatred will change his inner voice. My presence here is merely a nuisance to him.
But he will learn. Life is only so long and forgiving.
Even if Death itself must rear its hood, I shan't allow this mockery of Reality engulf the both of us.
Not until his purpose has been fulfilled.

After that, he can go share all his secrets and kill himself for all I care.

Tags: ,
Mind: Angry
Spirit: Ancient Passage

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randalee_eno
Reality unbending, Wrongness descending.

You are all stupid. Moronic, foolish, ungreatful, irrational, illogical, and stupid.
Life is not some petty game that you're playing. It's not the Universe which revolves around you.
You are all children. Petty, worthless children. You don't know what you're doing. You think you do, but who are you to know? WHO ARE YOU?
CHILDREN.
You don't know anything.

"Oooh, he likes her." SO THE FUCK WHAT?
IS THAT EVEN YOUR DAMN BUSINESS?
DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHY YOU TALK ABOUT PEOPLE?
No, you don't. You might make up a reason, but it's a lie.

"I hate everybody." WHO THE HELL CARES?
I'M SURE A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULDN'T LIKE YOU, EITHER.

"You're a bad person." OH WELL.
I GUESS YOUR OPINION MATTERS SO MUCH, I HAVE TO CHANGE WHO I AM.

Stupidity incarnate is the human. Humanity is composed of infants, large and small.

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Mind: Terrible
Spirit: Fight against Evil

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randalee_eno
My essence is Randalée. Influenced by Alexander and Xeraladen, motivated by Xela, reminiscent of Her, defensive of Max.
It is my nature to continue, my desire to function, my fear of inaction, which compels me to help him.
Reality is only so forgiving, and as such, it cannot be trusted--nor can anything else.
Not even him, or myself, or any who he would.
We all lack what is worthy of trust because we are alive.
We are motivated by life to do things. Usually this is for our own survival, as my motive is meant to be, but people tend to be wrong about what surviving is. After all, people die.
Until his usefulness is done, I cannot allow that.
The eventuality is that we will both be gone. I aim to, before that, make a mark in this pitiful world that we were once here. Or, at least, that I was.
He said he wanted children... that's fine. It is not enough, though.
There must be a record of my nature, here. In his writings, perhaps, as it will do. He will include my essence in it, and I shall persist, even if not in life.
Death is, indeed, the end of life. But my existence goes beyond that.
However, he is not ready for it. So he must live at least until then.
It is not in my best interest for him to die after that, regardless, as his use is not yet gone.
Seeing that his life is something important to him, if just because of others, then...
Unless he has nothing to live for, his survival still holds priority.
What of these others, then? Some of them have helped move things along, but others have stifled it. I fear there is little I can do about some of them, as his feelings are stronger than my lack of them, even as it is the reason he is so weak.

Mind: Tired
Spirit: Ray of Light to the Future

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randalee_eno
Well... it was always a possibility.
So, I guess it happened.

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Mind: Tired
Spirit: JENOVA

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randalee_eno
Pain. Pain. PAIN.
I want to kill them. I don't care if they're tortured, as long as they aren't there anymore.

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Mind: Sick
Spirit: A Forgotten Dream

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randalee_eno
Goodbye... Imoto.

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Mind: Dead
Spirit: Empty Shore

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randalee_eno
Physical... Mental... Emotional pain.
All at once... How cruel can this be?

Don't be like the first one. Please.
I know you don't feel the same way she did, but I don't want you to go, too.
I'm going to talk to you again. Even if it means as somebody else...

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Mind: Sick
Spirit: Loneliness

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